“10 Things Parents Miss” – Mark Massey

On August 16th of last 2014 I packed up my family, drove five hours into the Northwoods of Wisconsin, and joined forces with Mark Massey, executive director of Victory Academy for Boys.

The program is amazing.

There’s no more effective disciple-making paradigm than the family. That’s why the counseling format at Victory takes at-risk boys and injects them into an already functioning family. The boys live, sleep, eat, play, study, and grow in a house with a mom, dad, and siblings. They are trained from God’s Word how to glorify Him at the table, in the bathroom, at school, during a hike, in front of the TV, and in the hallways.

As a Residence Counselor (House Dad) at Victory I see the amazing opportunities intentional disciple-making parenting afford. But I also understand how many parents miss those opportunities when they don’t consider their child to be “at-risk.”

Mark Massey’s written a great article called “10 Things Parents Miss.” If you think it’s another list of “cigarette butts and porno mags,” you’re desperately mistaken. This is an outline of significant, biblical principles and mandates that parents frequently ignore in their child-rearing.

Check out the article below and visit Victory’s website. Your son may not be at-risk, but you may know a boy who is . . . and we’d love to help.


 

“Ten Things Parents Miss” by Mark Massey

Many of the teens in our Christian homes are leaving behind the practice of their faith: “Six out of ten twenty-somethings were involved in a church during their teen years, but have failed to translate that into active spirituality during their early adulthood” (Barna Group). We need revival in the work of raising the next generation for God!

1. Humility is the key

The parents’ worldview is critical to the success of parenting. How can we tell who is at the center of our worldviews, ourselves or God? Easy. We just evaluate what we do when things don’t go our way. Particularly, how do we respond when a child doesn’t do right? Pride demands that we have our own way, that the child submit to us. Humility may demand the same action or attitude, but since the focus is not on “my way,” but on the child’s desperate need to walk in God’s ways, the attitude—which teens do read—is very different.

2. Parenting as a team

The greatest gift we can give our teens is a secure home. The marriage relationship is the foundation of a child’s world. When mom and dad have their disagreements in private and present a unified, consistent direction, teens are more secure.

3. Honest evaluation

How often I have heard, “My son is really a good boy; he has a good heart.” The reality is that all of our hearts gravitate toward sin! (Jer. 17:9) We all think more highly of ourselves than we ought. Honestly recognizing the deep hold of sin in the human heart is essential to guiding our children. Without that, the parents let their protective boundaries fail, and the teen is at great risk.

4. Reaching the heart

We must get past behavior modification, the linking of good behavior to a reward (like getting a drivers license) or punishment (getting grounded). Reward and punishment are biblical, but they are not the totality of God’s plan. With only those, we get teens who calculate the cost: is the fun of disobedience worth the pain of the punishment—and they conclude “yes” all too often.

5. THE main point

The world talks about the parent-centered approach vs. the child-centered approach. Both fail. The main point of parenting is to produce a God-worshiping adult (Eph. 6:1-4).

6. The blindness of immaturity

Teens naturally must try new things as they grow. However, the danger is that, in their inexperience, they may experiment with things that bring bondage.

7. The value of values

Hypocrisy is intolerable. It eats away at the soul as cancer eats at the flesh. We and our teens must do the right deed for the right reason: Bible-based, God-honoring values at the core of our being.

8. Strategic planning

Do we have a more definitive plan for our finances than we do for our families? To develop character in our children, we need to plan the process and have tangible goals, That is, we can see whether or not there is progress. Ephesians 6 calls us to bring our children through the process of maturing spiritually. We need to write down each child’s unique set of needs (spiritual, emotional, relational, physical), the methods of meeting the needs, and what observable action or condition would indicate success.

9. Communication and problem solving

The power of biblical communication results from five values. Communication works when we are honest, current, edifying, kind, and forgiving (Eph. 4:21-32).

10. The importance of family

Enjoying the gift of family is not an extra, it is a God-designed part of success. Casual, fun times are vital to the training and disciplining process. The sense that being family is a positive thing is a platform for the ministry of parents (Psalm 78; Deut. 6). The idea that a little “quality time” is enough is a myth. In giving children the quantity of time that they crave, you find the quality time happen. It cannot be commanded to appear on cue.

10 Ways You’re Making Your Family Life Harder Than It Has To Be

10 Ways You're Making Your Family Life Harder Than It Has To Be

On June 29, 2014 Tim Hoch wrote “10 Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be.”

It didn’t take long for it to go viral, and it has made many appearances on my friends’ Facebook walls. Though I don’t know if Mr. Hoch is a Christian, and can’t agree with everything he wrote, I do know many of the observations he made are not only applicable to the family . . . but are biblical.

Using Tim’s 10 ways and God’s infallible Word, let’s see how we can stop making our family life harder and start glorifying God with it instead.

Continue reading “10 Ways You’re Making Your Family Life Harder Than It Has To Be”

#TBTB#TBT – 1/22/15

ThrowBack Thursday TBT

If homosexuality was a big deal in former years, it will continue to be more so. And Christians must have a response.

But the Christian’s response to this issue must be two things: Loving and Biblical.

Joe Dallas got it right in his article To My Gay Angry Friend.

angry

“Rejoice in the Lord” – Ron Hamilton

Music WednesdaysPhilippians tells us that true peace comes only when we “rejoice in the Lord always.”

Ron Hamilton so beautifully portrays the truth of peace in difficulty in his song, Rejoice in the Lord. This song was written shortly after the doctors told him he had cancer in his eye and that they would have to remove it.

Difficulty. Yet at peace.

We hope this song helps set us on the right course this year.

#TBTB #TBT – 10/2/14

ThrowBack Thursday TBT

Why are Christians so . . . ? We think that’s a great question. Not only because it gives us an opportunity to answer according to God’s Word, but because it gives us insight into how these people called “Christians” are being perceived.

This, in turn, tells us how “these people” (us?) are communicating to the world. Sometimes the world is misrepresenting us, but sometimes we’re the ones giving the bad impression. Please enjoy “Why are Christians so ____________?” by Daniel Threlfall.

Why Are Christians So

#TBTB #TBT 9-25-14

ThrowBack Thursday TBT

Mark Regnerus conducted and published research proving that homosexual parents are not healthy for children. He was virtually burned at the stake.

Denny Burk wrote the following article to address the propensity for the world to crucify Christians for their counter-culture beliefs.

AMBrewster provides a challenge to Christians to prepare for the day when we, like Mr. Regnerus, are in the cross-hairs for our beliefs.

It will happen.

Will you be ready?

The Witch-Hunt for Mark Regnerus

The Witch-Hunt for Mark Regnerus

#TBTB #TBT – “Indonesian Hatred in America”

ThrowBack Thursday

Why is America . . . so dead-set on becoming like Indonesia in their ridiculous hate-speech legislation?”

“Hate Speech” is a phrase created by people who want to keep others from disagreeing with them. Christians should never use this phrase because we know that we will be hated and there’s nothing we can do about it. But we needn’t tolerate it when individuals or governments attempt to keep us from speaking truth in love.

We hope you’re re-invigorated for truth after reading “Indonesian Hatred.”

Indonesian Hatred

#TBTB #TBT – “Why I’m Not a Christian”

ThrowBack ThursdayIn his review of Bertrand Russell’s “Why I’m Not a Christian,” Jeremy Larson does a great job pointing out the inconsistencies that exist in Russell’s (and most other atheists for that matter) thinking.

All Christians must be ready to take back the Bible by preparing to give every man an answer for the hope that dwells within us. For this reason, it’s wise to acquaint ourselves with the atheist’s thinking, but then arm ourselves with God’s answers.

AMBrewster provides a few thoughts as a preface to Mr. Larson’s article here: “Why I’m Not a Christian.”

Why I'm Not a Christian

“You Are The Christ” – The Wilds

Music Wednesdays

When Jesus asked Peter who He was, Peter answered with the certainty of the ages:

You are the Christ! The Son of the most high God.”

May our confidence in that resolution be just as firm.

#TBTB #TBT – “He seemed like such a nice man.”

ThrowBack Thursday

If you’re unfortunate enough to hear the comment, “He seemed like such a nice man,” then you were probably talking about someone who just went to jail for some heinous act.

Regardless of who you were talking about, the likely reality is that they were just found out for who they really were . . . but up until then they had everyone fooled.

Stop and consider the fact that there are people you know now who aren’t what they seem.

It’s sad, but true.

The Christian has the responsibility to be discerning enough to spot the wolves in sheep’s clothing. “‘He Seemed Like Such a Nice Man’ & False Teachers” is a short article about just that.

He seemed like such a nice man: False Teachers